computer humor

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Tech Support

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."

Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support: "Well?"

Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Under no circumstances should you mix BOFHs and lusers in the same social invitation

Under no circumstances should you mix BOFHs and lusers in the same social invitation; it distresses your BOFH guests and the stains are difficult to get out of most carpet fabrics.
-- Frossie

I find GUIs in general severely damage my productivity.

I find GUIs in general severely damage my productivity.
I stopped talking to the world in little pictures when I was three.
-- Phil Payne

ADMINSPOTTING

ADMINSPOTTING: Choose no life. Choose sysadminning. Choose no career. Choose no family. Choose a fucking big computer, choose hard disks the size of washing machines, old cars, CD ROM writers and electrical coffee makers. Choose no sleep, high caffeine and mental insurance. Choose fixed interest car loans. Choose a rented shoebox. Choose no friends. Choose black jeans and matching combat boots. Choose a swivel chair for your office in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose NNTP and wondering why the fuck you're logged on on a Sunday morning.

being a Linux user

"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed." -- Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition

The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple.

The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.
-- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc

I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia lab.

"... I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia lab. I've seen NTU lights glitter in the dark near the Mail Gate. All these things will be lost in time, like the root partition last week. Time to die..."
-- Peter Gutmann in alt.sysadmin.recovery

I don't use regex if I can help it

I don't use regex if I can help it, since most of what I'm writing needs to be easily maintainable by someone else in the event I'm hit by a microsoft delivery truck
-- Bill Nash

First there was Unix...

First there was Unix... Now there's AIX, AU/X, BSD, BSDI, Dynix, EP/IX, FTX, Hurricane, HP-UX, Irix, Linux, Mach, Minix, Open Desktop, OSF/1, OSx, PC/IX, Plan 9, Polyx, Posix, QNX, Risc/OS, Risc/ix, SCO Unix, Sinix, Solaris, Sprite, SunOS, SVRx, Topaz, Tunis, Ultrix, Unicos, V, v10, Xenix, ..."

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. -- Arthur C. Clarke
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