humor

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There Are Only Two Things to Worry About

There Are Only Two Things to Worry About

There are only two things to worry about, either you are healthy or
you are sick. If you are healthy, then there is nothing to worry
about. But if you are sick there are only two things to worry
about, either you will get well or you will die. If you get well,
then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die there are
only two things to worry about, either you will go to heaven or to
hell. If you go to heaven, then there is nothing to worry about.
And if you to go hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with

Addition to Murphy's Laws

Addition to Murphy's Laws In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.

Achilles' Biological Findings

Achilles' Biological Findings:
(1) If a child looks like his father, that's heredity. If he
looks like a neighbour, that's environment.
(2) A lot of time has been wasted arguing over what came first
-- the chicken or the egg. It was undoubtedly the
rooster.

A credit card is what you use to buy today

A credit card is what you use to buy today, what you can't afford tomorrow, while you're still paying for it yesterday.

First there was Unix...

First there was Unix... Now there's AIX, AU/X, BSD, BSDI, Dynix, EP/IX, FTX, Hurricane, HP-UX, Irix, Linux, Mach, Minix, Open Desktop, OSF/1, OSx, PC/IX, Plan 9, Polyx, Posix, QNX, Risc/OS, Risc/ix, SCO Unix, Sinix, Solaris, Sprite, SunOS, SVRx, Topaz, Tunis, Ultrix, Unicos, V, v10, Xenix, ..."

The six steps in a project

The six steps in a project: 1) Unbounded enthusiasm 2) Total disillusionment 3) PANIC!! 4) Frantic search for the guilty 5) Punishment of the innocent 6) Promotion of the uninvolved.

One of the Ten Commandments for Technicians

One of the Ten Commandments for Technicians:
(1) Beware the lightening that lurketh in the undischarged
capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks
in a most untechnician-like manner.

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!

Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers!
Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben.
Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken
mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.
Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das
pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

Two Sodium atoms are walking down the street.

Two Sodium atoms are walking down the street.
"I think I just lost an electron again!" "You sure?"
"Yeah.. I'm positive."

A Little Story

A Little Story

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody,
Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and
Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have
done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that
because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could
do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It
ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what
Anybody could have done.

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