humor

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We're now so perfectly in sync we're wearing each others underwear!

We're now so perfectly in sync we're wearing each others underwear!
-- House M.D.

You gave me the key to your heart

You gave me the key to your heart, my love;
Then why do you make me knock?
"Oh, that was yesterday, saints above;
Last night I changed the lock!"
-- John Boyle O'Reilly (1844-1890

Our cube is our home.

Our cube is our home. Every time we re-enter our cube we are filled with the voices of the others. They give our life meaning, fill the void, expand our knowledge. From our cube we search far and wide for technology and species that will add to our perfection. Away from our cube we are incomplete, but in our cube we are whole. Stress is irrelevant.

Brush up your Shakespeare

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now,
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
-- Cole Porter

We may live without poetry, music and art

We may live without poetry, music and art; We may love without conscience and live without heart; We may live without friends, we may live without books; But civilized man cannot live without cooks. -- Owen Meredith, Lucile

Woman wants monogamy

Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten and man is bored.
-- Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

All my friends are getting married

All my friends are getting married, Yes, they're all growing old, They're all staying home on the weekend, They're all doing what they're told.

Lewd limericks

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along
And, unless I'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.

A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
And the cube of its weight
Times his pecker's, plus eight
Is his phone number -- give him a call..

A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd "just take a chance."
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.

A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.

Software is like entropy.

Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases. -- Norman R. Augustine

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room. -- Blaise Pascal
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