Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985

Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985:
From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved
in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from
exploding bombs damage my videotapes?"

Otaku is a way of involvement, an underground way of changing the ideas about the world.

Otaku is a way of involvement, an underground way of changing the ideas about the world.
Otaku are not satisfied with consuming. They want to change things and programs.
They are so much involved. The idol- industry wants consumers, otaku overfulfill their wish.
They don't stand for a classic confrontation, but they do have the capability of an alternative view.
-- Volker Grassmuck

I'd love to go out with you, but...

I'd love to go out with you, but... the President said he might drop in.

I'd love to go out with you, but... it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.

I'd love to go out with you, but... there's a disturbance in the Force.

I'd love to go out with you, but... I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.

I'd love to go out with you, but... I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

I'd love to go out with you, but... the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.

A bicyclist can't outrun a car but he can outlive the driver.

A bicyclist can't outrun a car but he can outlive the driver.

Surprise! You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit!

Surprise! You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit! Just type in your name and social security number. Please remember that leaving the room is punishable under law: Name #

Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?

Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A: A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit."
A schoolteacher says: "We're going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right."
An airline stewardess says: "Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath normally."

Light bulb Q&A

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two, but don't ask me how they get in there! How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "That's a known problem... don't worry about it." How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes a really long time and the light bulb has to want to change. Q) How many girls does it take to change a light bulb? A) THEY ARE CALLED "WYMYN," AND THAT IS NOT FUNNY! How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just part of the way the world works.

Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just part of the way the world works. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

-Douglas Adams

God wanted to have a holiday

God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go. "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God. "Well, how about Mercury?" "No, it's too hot there." "Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?" "No," said God, "They're such horrible gossips. When I was there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're still talking about it."

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW" means the price went way up.

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