Eagleson's Law

Eagleson's Law:
Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months, might as well have been written by someone else.
(Eagleson is an optimist, the real number is more like 3 weeks.)

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain

A master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices.

A master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices. "The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant," said the master. "Is Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice. "It is," came the reply. "Is the Tao in a video game?" continued the novice. "It is even in a video game," said the master. "And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?" The master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said. -- The Tao of Programming

You know you've been hacking too long when...

You know you've been hacking too long when...
...you want more coffee and you think:
finger waiter; cat *coffee* | grep -v decaff | drink | more

You know you've been hacking too long when...
...a friend asks you what you're going to do later and you answer:
cd $HOME; mkbed; sleep 28800

You know you've been hacking too long when...
...you stop by the grocery store on your way home, and write your check out in hex.

You know you've been hacking too long when...
...you're reading from paper media and when you finish the page you press
the spacebar.

The six steps in a project

The six steps in a project: 1) Unbounded enthusiasm 2) Total disillusionment 3) PANIC!! 4) Frantic search for the guilty 5) Punishment of the innocent 6) Promotion of the uninvolved.

One of the Ten Commandments for Technicians

One of the Ten Commandments for Technicians:
(1) Beware the lightening that lurketh in the undischarged
capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks
in a most untechnician-like manner.

HELP SEX

.HELP SEX
This system is a computer and as such is not able to help with enquiries
of this nature. For details on reproduction see the Xerox documentation.
(Famous Help text from Essex Dec10)

Could someone please tell me how to access the "alt.sex.bondage"

**ROG** writes > ...who have no clue about reality. Nothing could compare with > the beauty of the real world around us and you should work as hard > at preserving the environment and making the world safe for our progeny > as you do at hiding in your computer screens. I bet you couldn't > read a story from alt.sex.bondage without getting an erection. Could someone please tell me how to access the "alt.sex.bondage"

THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES

THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #10: SIMPLE

SIMPLE is an acronym for Sheer Idiot's Monopurpose Programming Language
Environment. This language, developed at the Hanover College for
Technological Misfits, was designed to make it impossible to write code
with errors in it. The statements are, therefore, confined to BEGIN,
END and STOP. No matter how you arrange the statements, you can't make
a syntax error. Programs written in SIMPLE do nothing useful. Thus
they achieve the results of programs written in other languages without

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!

Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers!
Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben.
Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken
mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.
Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das
pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

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